Sanzo loses a fangirl to Dr Ni
by Ermanil
Summary: First Saiyuki fic. This idea came up while she was watching the Saiyuki musical. Went from one comment to another until this was created. Cowritten by her, so read and Enjoy! Pure humor...hopefully. Title says all. Don't forget to review!


Hakkai was looking at the groups laptop looking for a map. They had gotten lost quite often and it seemed safer to look for a map, besides they had a small portable computer. It would be a sin NOT to use it, right? How they got it or rather why, no one knows. All they knew was that the goddess of mercy delivered a package and the laptop was in there. Hakkai was the only one who seemed to grasp any of it; they figured this out after Goku tried to eat it and Gojyo figured out how to access the internet and…well, let's keep this PG rated, shall we? Hakkai had a recent attack of insomnia…well more like nightmares about the night he'd rather forget, and so decided to see what the commotion about the internet was. He found a blog and after reading a little thought it would be a good idea. This way he can tell the group 'I told you so'. This went on for a few nights with some scary posts by some followers. The mild ones were:

'_Sanzo! Marry me!'_ and _'Sanzo is mine!' _and _'No, I married him first!'_

Hakkai didn't want to see what they said about him, Gojyo or Goku if Sanzo was getting this much attention. The group had recently just paid for a hotel room and Hakkai was on the computer updating the blog.

"Hakkai, what are you doing?" Goku asked moving next to Hakkai to see.

"Just updating our blog, Goku. We have a lot of followers." Hakkai explained.

"Wha? 1,000,000 followers?" Goku was surprised.

"Hey, it says here; 'in the musical, Dr. Ni is hot! Hotter than Sanzo anyway.' What's that mean?" Gojyo asked.

"Che, good riddance. One less fangirl." Sanzo declared secretly enthused, it was one less person he had to watch out for while walking into a town.

"Looks like Ni is better than our Sanzo Priest, right guys?" Hakkai gives Goku and Gojyo a smile.

Sanzo puts his gun in their faces, the threat clearly there. He even took off his glasses and put down his newspaper to give the classic Sanzo death glare. The other three members didn't appear too fazed though. They just kept chatting like a metal death weapon wasn't in front of their faces. Hakkai was the only one who reacted…and I wouldn't call it much of a reaction.

Hakkai looks at the gun and calmly replied, "I think your anger is misplaced."

"Oh yeah, Ni is the bad guy isn't he?" Goku

"Looks like pretty boy has met his match. The ladies still fall for this face though." Gojyo declared putting his hand to his forehead and putting on his classic and famous Gojyo smile.

Hakkai shows some comments to Gojyo. The ones chosen were not very Gojyo friendly. Let's take a look at some examples, shall we?

'_What's with the antenna on his head? I wonder if he gells his hair every morning to make them stand up, or if it's just natural, cuz it looks ridiculous'_, and_ 'Kissing him would be disgusting…tobacco breath…ugh! unless you had no sense of smell'_, and the last one and probably the best…actually this one requires its very own line:

'_What's with his sense of fashion? More like, no sense. __I mean, he thinks he's a stud, but he dresses…rather shirt? Spare me *shudders*.'_

Hakkai watched Gojyo's expression with no emotion. Gojyo took the computer and was scrolling down trying to find a good comment. When he couldn't find any that would cancel out all the bad comments he found a corner and was huddled in the corner, a depressed aura surrounding him, not much unlike Tamaki Suo. Hakkai decided to check what was said about him anyways, along with Goku. They already wandered into the 'Gojyo' cult already. Goku liked the comments he saw about himself and Hakkai, well…Hakkai didn't mind the comments too much. After all, he did only love one person, even if she was his sister. These girls stood no chance with him, and so he was just content to reply negatives on behalf of the group. All the marriage proposals were clearly declined. Sanzo lowers his gun and turns away heading for the door with a 'che'. The others look up and stare at his back. Where was their priest going anyway?

All at once in a rare and yet beautiful display of camaraderie they ask one question. "Where are you going?"

Sanzo doesn't hesitate as he walks out the door, "To find Ni and kill him!"

The other three give each other a look and shrug going back to look at the blog. Dr. Ni did deserve an angry Sanzo. That is if Kougaiji didn't get to him first.


End file.
